When Smoking is the Reason for National Progress

This is a long article but stick with me here...

Noynoy Aquino won the elections. Period. Us whiners will just have to wait and see what he can do for our country and just help in our own terms. If he screws up, we’ll be there. If do something good, we’ll be there as well.

I have to be honest; things are not starting well for the President-elect. His conviction to not to use the new Supreme Court Justice, the possibility of delaying the proclamation and constant bickering on the showbiz world with him involved is just a bad way to get things started. The worst part of it is that it’s not his fault that these are happening. People in power also wanted to share Noynoy’s power and those going out just wanted to show that they can still inflict inconvenience. I mean, c’mon Nograles, your time has come. Is it not enough that you already shown the country that you can actually bend the rules if you don’t like it?

All these things are pressuring Noynoy. Aside from these “politickings”, he has also promised “no corruption” which is like promising he will fix the ozone layer with a duct tape.

So what’s a man got to do to get away from all these and think of a solution? Smoke. Yes! Smoke. Light’s up Mr. President!

Apparently, this is the tool for Mr. Aquino to deal with pressure. Wow. I never thought that a stick of cigarette would actually be the key to our national progress. The man can’t think straight if he doesn’t do his nicotine kicks from time to time. Think about this situation:

Man: Mr. President, the people are in the streets calling for better wages, our national debt is almost impossible to be fixed, the peso-dollar exchange is nearly 70.00 and your sister is here to complain about James Yap! What do we do?

Mr. President: Let me light up a cigarette and get back to you.

After 5 Minutes….

Mr. President: Man? You there? Here’s what you do…call the wages board and union leaders for a meeting – I’ll be there. I’ll talk to IMF and reduce the pork barrel to help pay for the debt. The peso-dollar exchange can still bounce back – just wait for Christmas and enrollment season. For Mrs. James Yap…call Boy Abunda.

See? A single stick will help our country.

Not kicking the habit is actually a very bad thing for our president. It simply means you can’t let go of some vices and will even place the country desperate for some changes in nicotine kicks. This simply means there are bad things you can do just to make things better. You know who also have this philosophy? Niccolo Machiavelli “The Ends Justify The Means”. Worst, our country might be placed in a bad situation without any good results in the end.

Mr. President, you have to be the poster boy for anti-smoking. You could fake the idea that you’ve already give up smoking. Yes, that’s hypocrisy but it’s necessary because millions are hinging to your every word. Think of the poor people who spend more than 25% of their daily wages on smoking. With you on the anti-smoking campaign, they might be swayed and they will use the money on better things. Food instead of cigarettes is a good thing you know. Don’t worry about getting caught. You will have PSGs protecting your every move you make so that the public will not know. You can also help DOH save money on advertising. I don’t want to see any celebrities telling people to give up smoking because I know these guys are just paid to say things in front of the camera.

At least he sticks to the message that he’s willing to die for our country. I think he’s trying to tell us “Yes, I am willing to die for our country – but not because of being shot to death but because of liver and throat cancer”.