Wednesday, January 06, 2010

5 Ways to Know if Your Politician has Election Fever

Election is just months away and even though our automated poll machine has failed miserably on its latest test (only 30 out of 600), the show must go on. Although we're scared **itless about the possibility of massive cheating, the show must go on. Even politicians believe that the show must go on.

And what a show they are putting up. Every three years, our politicians go on a battle far more complicated, brutal and funny than the Battle of Mactan (except the funny part). The politicians are on election fever and there is no cure. In fact, the more we watch the greater the fever.

Here are the indications that your politician is about to be hot on his heels this election season.

1. Increased block time on radio and television - give your politician credit for giving jobs to retired and sometimes, annoying broadcasters. Months before the election semi-journalists (like me) go on a rampage against the opponent. Additional kudos if the politician gains enough money to spend on television shows dedicated to praise what he has done and thrash the opponents.

2. Legal battle has started - one of the many tricks a politician will use to destroy the enemy is to dig up past problems of go to the court. The weird part is that almost everyone knows about the past problems of the politician and only now that the election is coming they have opted to go to the court. Most of these are just threats so that the people will realize what the politician did but these are just ploys.

3. Posters, calendars, t-shirts, caps, jackets, wall clocks, bags, notebooks, pencils with the politicians name - if you receive any two of these before the end of the month from the same politician, then that politician has the fever. Be prepared because they will spend millions on these things. When that time comes, the fever has landed.

4. Challenge to a debate - this is a bit unique in the election much like the legal battles. To show their true supremacy over their opponents, they will usually challenge their enemy to a debate. Of course, the opponent will just walk away, do not reply or say "no". But after the elections, you can't seem to see them shouting at each other to prove their point.

5. Increasing friends - "paid for by friends of". 'nuff said

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