Monday, January 18, 2010

Anatomy of a "Trapo" Speech

Speeches can provide a lot of information about the speaker. The knowledge and expertise on the subject, the ability to provide professional predictions and how the speaker relates to everyone can be determined in one speech. This is very applicable to a TRAditional POlitician or TRAPO.

Now I love speeches made by TRAPOs during caucuses and political rallies. But I hate it when they are done outside these venues. Why? They ruin everything. These speeches delay fun and activities in the town fiesta, they are too boring that the fun is no longer there when they show up and make the same statements again and again…


Forgive the writer for these capitalizations because I just want to emphasize my anger to this type of speech. But let's get to the point shall we?

The Long, Long, Long, Long Greeting

Politicians take forever before they can start their actual speech. You don't just get "Friends, Romans, Countrymen" as a greeting, they will greet everyone in the stage they know. Here's an example:

"To our awesome President, Gloria Macapagal Arroyo who has given us a lot this year. To our dear Vice President Noli de Castro who has worked harder to give us what we want. To our Congressman (insert name) who has give us (insert money and project), Sir/ma'am (insert stupid comment here)."

The speaker will name EVERYONE in the stage so that everyone will be pleased…except the listeners. Unfortunately, this is not worst part because this type of greeting will be repeated by every politician in the stage. By the way, every politician in the stage will most likely ask for time in the pulpit because they also want to *iss *ss to everyone there.

The Vague Statements

Don't think that the politician will talk about what they did in the past. No, that type of speech is very rare because they actually didn't do anything. Here's an example of a vague statement:

"I thank everyone for coming here because this only shows our support to the cause we want to push. We are not afraid to change so we took time to travel for hours just to show up in this rally. Times are challenging so we have to be united and get everyone behind our leaders to get what we want."

It's a great "pom-pom" speech because it cheers everyone up but doesn't give anything, ANYTHING at all.
The What I Do/What I Did Variety

During election period, the candidate will say something like this:

"I built something, I contributed something now I'm planning to do something if I win."

This sounds nice but that's just "subjective memory working" you really can't pin that speech to the candidate. Why? Because there are too many factors to consider. The politician's "frienemies" will block, support, praise or burn the project. But they still win because they "tried". We lose.

New Trend: Get the People Pumped Up

There's a new trend I notice in candidates especially the young ones. While they practice the traditional pattern of speech, they end up by chanting something and getting the crowd to answer.

Politician: "Hep, Hep?"

Everyone Else: "Horray!!!"

At this point you'll notice the *iss *ss. He/she who shouts the loudest, *isses the *ss most. An exception is given to kids because they seem to enjoy something like this in a political rally.

This is the sorry, sad state of our political speeches. Of course, there are few candidates who are great orators and don’t succumb to TRAPO blah, blah, blah but to those who do something like this - please stop it. Hire someone who can write a good speech that will tell your true feelings. Wait, scratch that - that will get you in trouble.

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